When it first got out that I cut myself, the question I got asked the most was why. My parents, my friends—none of them could understand it. Why would you do something that physically harmed you over and over? Didn’t you feel the pain? Well, of course it hurts. That’s why I do it. I do it because sometimes it seems like pain is the only way I can feel anything.

I wish I could remember like it was yesterday, all I really remember are flashes, flashes of the most horrible moments of my life. I’d just finished evening lessons and I had to go back home, it was the same old routine, I’d done this for about three years, pick my little sister and take the A11 bus back home .On the way back we’d meet Brad, he’s this guy from the prep school next to mine that I’ve been dating for a while.